makyo

Kinda wish I was in that niche, tho. I'm halfway upset about my looks, and halfway upset about the social aspects of having had surgery, and the go together in the strangest ways. I'm struggling to put it into words that aren't either gross or bitter.

I'm gonna try, but lead with a disclaimer that my brief experience with sex work is the source of many of these feelings.

It feels like there's this socially acceptable level of trans, and I didn't realize it until it happened, but you can fall out of the other side of it, too. All the romance and transgression that went with ✨girldick✨ went away with that bit of anatomy, and now I'm just the fat chick with the complicated pussy.

I guess I feel like I'm expected to go stealth now, and I feel unwelcome in trans spaces as a result, even though honestly, anyone who's heard me talk or stood next to me knows going stealth is out of the picture.

I don't want to go stealth, though. I want to be a trans girl. Just now I'm left feeling like I'm appropriating that.

Anyway. I love all y'all's bodies, and I sometimes even love mine, but boy it leaves me feeling weird and lonely sometimes.